First a quote: “Faced with a choice between changing one’s mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy with the proof.” – J.K. Galbraith
The first human organ transplant was that of a kidney between identical twins in 1954 by Dr. Joseph E. Murray and his team. The first liver transplant happened thirteen years later in 1967 and the first heart transplant followed a year later.
Most early transplants failed because of the body’s natural tendencies to fight off foreign substances, objects, (germs, viruses, splinters and bee stingers) and even transplanted organs. When an antigen is discovered, the human immune system goes on high alert producing anti-bodies by the millions. Think of microscopic soldiers being sent out on a “seek and destroy” mission.
Antigen - an ·tuh·jn; a noun
A toxin, or other foreign substance, which induces an immune response in the body, especially the production of antibodies. This means your immune system does not recognize the substance and is trying to fight it off.
Until the early 1980s, the probability of organ rejection was remarkably high and therefore limited the number of human transplants performed. Quite literally, the human body is designed to recognize, and reject, any foreign substance, even if it is a life-saving organ. Once a threat is identified, the body’s immune system goes on attack.
Of course, most of the time, (unless it is indeed a life-saving organ transplant) this is an amazing, almost miraculous process.
Now, a hard left-hand turn in topics.
Your body’s immune system and organizational cultures have much in common. When an organizational change is introduced, say a new technology, process, or perhaps an organizational restructuring, the organizational immune system (its culture) can easily go on attack and almost always does.
In most systems, uninvited change is seen as a metaphorical antigen, antibodies are then created and the war to fight off the perceived threat and protect the status quo begins. (I submit this phenomenon can even be seen in the highly emotional events of the past year.)
My focus this morning is much more personal and related more to how we think, and process, conflicting data and divergent points of view as individuals. Just like your body is designed to seek out and fend off physical and biological antigens, I submit our minds work much the same way.
Our “mental immune systems” are constantly on the lookout for “mental antigens” as well. Mental antigens, are defined here, as thoughts and ideas which are foreign, or at least different, than our own thoughts, beliefs, experiences, and paradigms.
I’m pretty confident I can trigger your mental immune system just by saying a handful of words, i.e. Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, COVID-19, Wear a Mask or Don’t Wear a Mask, Red or Blue, Fox News or CNN, etc.
Did you feel your mind putting your “mental antibodies” on high alert? I’m betting so! Did you feel yourself gearing up for battle? Or maybe hoping you and I see these topics from the same perspective. Just like the antivirus software on our computers, I submit our minds are continually scanning for “mental antigens” in every conversation we have, especially with people we don’t know well or trust.
Now for my intended focus this morning.
What if someone has your best interest in mind and has a desire to help you? What if someone tries to offer you, what in their mind, is helpful feedback? What if someone wants to help shed light on a mental blind spot that is causing problems in your relationships? What if some of your behavior, or thinking patterns, need a metaphorical transplant? Ok… that was meant to be funny.
I offer the following thought for your consideration when seeking/receiving feedback:
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Make it easy for others to give you feedback, especially those who know you well.
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Ask others about your potential blind spots. What might they help you see from their perspective?
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Assume positive intent. Are there evil people in the world? Certainly there are. I have come to believe most people want to help others. Use your discretion.
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Validate or verify the feedback you either disagree with or are uncertain about.You don’t have to take every piece of feedback received as absolute truth.Check with others by saying something like, “I have received feedback that I can come across as uncaring. What do I do that might lead others to that conclusion? Are you comfortable sharing your opinion or helpful insights? Have I ever come across as uncaring to you?
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Remember, you are hearing opinions. I have learned if you ask ten people for their opinions, you will get 10 opinions in return and they will all be different. Not all opinions are of equal value and not all opinions require a response.Opinions after all are just that, opinions. You still get to decide what matters to you based upon your values and beliefs.
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Be aware that your mental immune system may be attacking helpful feedback that might just save your job, marriage, or other important relationships.
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Just maybe, you have ideas, beliefs, or attitudes that are in need of a transplant. 😊 Maybe your mental immune system is preventing you from hearing life-changing feedback.
60-Second Feedback Survey - I’m always grateful for your opinions and feedback!
Have a great week!!
Bryan Yager
208.376.1701
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Bonus Quotes:
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“Negative feedback can make us bitter or better.” – Robin Sharma
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“The best feedback is what we don’t want to hear.” – George Raveling
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“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates
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“Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.” – Doc Rivers
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“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk
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“Because we make ourselves deaf to feedback, because we overestimate our abilities, because we become consumed with ourselves, we end up subjecting ourselves not just to the inevitable stumbles or difficulties of life but catastrophic, painful failures.” – Ryan Holiday
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“If you get honest feedback and do nothing about it, then the feedback will stop.” – Alan Mulally
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“Feedback for leaders is often nuanced and difficult to deliver. That said, hearing you are passive-aggressive from 10 different people described 10 different ways becomes hard to ignore.” – Scott Weiss
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“The best time to give feedback to strong people is when they’re feeling weak, and to weak people when they’re feeling strong.” – Mardy Grothe
