Hello, and happy Monday.
First a quote: “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting tomatoes in a fruit salad.” ― Miles Kington
Most leaders share a common goal: They want to surround themselves with talented, capable, high-performing people.
Do you agree?
Strong teams win. Strategic teams adapt. Talented teams create and leverage advantages that competitors struggle to match. So, here’s a simple, but powerful, question to ask ourselves:
Do the best and brightest people get to work with you… or, do they have to work with you?
I’ll share a quick personal observation.
Early in my career, I remember sitting in meetings with people who were clearly smarter than me. Faster. Sharper. More experienced.
And, I learned two very different lessons, from two very different types of leaders.
Leaders in one group made me, and others around me, feel small and insignificant.
Leaders of this group corrected, interrupted, and “improved” almost everything that was said. It felt like every discussion was an attempt to show off their superiority.
In those situations, I tended to speak less… not because I didn’t care, but because it didn’t seem to matter what I, and others on the team, offered.
The second group leader; equally smart, maybe smarter, but tended to use a different approach.
They asked for input, involvement, thoughts, and insights from the team. They built on the ideas of others. They helped the team see things more clearly without making anyone feel smaller. In fact, these leaders worked to help everyone feel important about themselves.
These leaders were less intimidating and more inclusive of the team.
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Guess which group I learned more from?
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Guess which group I wanted to work with again and again?
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Which team do you think was more productive over the long term?
That contrast left a lasting impression on me… and shaped the kind of leader I’ve tried to become.
I have come to believe the most talented people usually have the most employment options.
Just as customers have choices about where they do business, the best and brightest employees also have more options regarding where they choose to work. Today, the competition for great associates is like an organization’s competition for customers.
We want our customers to want to do business with us. We also want our associates to want to work, not for us, but with us.
People with the most employment options rarely stick around environments where they feel diminished, dismissed, or managed by ego. Most gravitate toward leaders who challenge them, yes… but; also respect them, develop them, and value their contributions. They want to feel valued and important, no matter their role.
Now, let me flip the lens a bit.
What if you are one of those “best and brightest” people?
What if you’re the one people look to for answers… the one who sees things faster, connects dots quicker, solves problems faster?
That’s a gift… and, it can also become a trap. When we have strengths we overuse, those same strengths can become weaknesses and liabilities.
I was in a coaching conversation not long ago with a very sharp leader, quick thinker, incredibly knowledgeable, technically excellent.
And yet… his team was disengaged and suffered low morale.
Not because he lacked capability. But because, without realizing it, he had developed a habit of needing to win every conversation. Finishing people’s sentences. Correcting small details. Refining ideas before others could fully express them.
He wasn’t trying to be difficult or boastful. He was trying to be helpful. Certainly, people saw and could see his brilliance when he spoke.
“Leaders who refuse to listen, will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing helpful to say.” – Andy Stanley
But the impact?
People stopped offering ideas. Meetings got quieter. Innovation slowed. Morale dropped.
That’s when we talked about something I’ve come to call…The Curse of the Brilliant.
Here’s how it tends to show up:
When your intelligence becomes more visible than your humility… When being right becomes more important than being effective … When your contributions unintentionally silence and/or diminish the contributions of others…
You may still be the smartest person in the room. But you’re no longer getting the best from the room.
Over the years, I’ve learned…
Brilliance doesn’t build teams. How you use your brilliance does!
The most impactful leaders I’ve worked with aren’t the ones who prove how smart they are at every opportunity. They’re the ones who make everyone else feel smarter.
They ask a few more questions. They pause a little longer.
They explain things in ways that connect. They disagree without diminishing. When showing you are correct, there is no need to make others wrong.
They don’t need to win the moment… because they’re focused on winning over time as a team member.
A few simple shifts can make all the difference:
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Instead of highlighting where others fall short… look for where they’re strong, and build from there.
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Instead of elevating your point, create space for others to find theirs.
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Instead of correcting immediately, pause and be curious first.
And when you do share your perspective… meet people where they are, not where you wish they were.
One of my favorite lessons came from our son’s high school basketball coach, who used to say:
“Let your game speak for itself.”
The same applies here. You don’t need to remind people you’re smart. They already know.
“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”
– Often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and Zig Zigler and others.
What they’re deciding is something else entirely:
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Do I feel valued when I work with you?
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Do I trust you? Do you trust me?
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Do I grow because of you… or in spite of you?
My suggested remedies for the curse:
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Instead of using brilliance to illuminate the intelligence gaps in others, that same brilliance can be used to shine a light on the strengths of others.Everyone has gifts; help others leverage their strengths, help others feel important about what they bring to the table.
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Know your audience. Speak at their level, use stories and metaphors for stronger connections. Work to reduce your “intimidation quotient.”
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When disagreeing with others, there is no reason to “make them wrong” in the process.
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Be patient and encouraging when helping others learn, grow from, and understand your perspectives.
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Develop your reputation as a teacher, mentor and supporter of others.
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Practice a leadership style described by a colleague, Kris Olson, as “humble confidence.”
In the end, it’s not about whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable… most people don’t care! It’s about whether your presence makes the whole salad better… or just more complicated.
How will you use your strengths to elevate others this week?
Bonus Quotes Below
Related MMM Articles:
How will you live, love, and lead, differently, or better, this week?
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Bryan Yager
“Expanding Your Capacity for Success”
- Revised and updated. Originally published on December 3, 2018
If you enjoy my weekly missives, you may find my recently published book to be of value to you.
What others are saying:
This book is a standout resource for anyone looking to grow, regardless of where they are in their leadership journey. It is grounded in real-world applications, and the concepts aren’t abstract or overly theoretical, but instead are practical and immediately relevant. The structure makes it incredibly easy to reference, whether you’re reading it cover to cover or revisiting specific sections as challenges come up. It is an accessible, relatable read that meets you where you are and gives you tools you can actually use.
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Bonus Quotes:
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“The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” — Harvey S. Firestone
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“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” — Plato
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“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” — C.S. Lewis
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“Leadership is not about being the best. It is about making everyone else better.” — Unknown
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“Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
