Hello, and happy Monday.
First a quote: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu
Our current climate is noisy, polarized, often discouraging, some might even say depressing. I have spoken with several people, from my own circle of friends and family, who report fighting feelings of depression over recent weeks and months.
It can feel like our individual actions don’t matter much in the face of such wide-spread divisiveness. And yet, history teaches us the opposite is true: communities grow stronger, not because of sweeping policies, actions, or words from people in position of authority, but because everyday people choose to contribute, connect, and care—right where they are.
Strengthening our communities doesn’t always require dramatic gestures.
More often, these outcomes happen through small, intentional acts of kindness that build trust and enhance connections between individuals, groups, and communities. Through those small gestures, we are often reminded that despite our differences, we share common aspirations, dreams, and hopes.
I submit almost all of us desire communities consisting of safety, belonging, opportunity, and a brighter future.
Who doesn’t want to leave the world a better place for future generations. Certainly, parents and grandparents do.
Leaders, whether by title, or by choice, can certainly play a role in modeling what it means to help shape the world through positive actions and words.
Choosing curiosity over contempt. Extending kindness where feelings of contempt might otherwise grow. Listening to understand, not just to reply. Building people and communities up, not tearing them down, or fanning the flames of bitterness, hatred and divisiveness.
I suggest we are all people of influence in our own personal circles. (See Stephen R. Covey’s diagram below.) We may not be able to single-handedly solve the animosity of our times; but we can influence the power and strength of the communities in which we live.
This influence starts with a focused approach on what we’re able to control. Stress tends to occur when we focus our attention on those things which are beyond our control or influence.
Rather than becoming overwhelmed by what’s beyond our reach, Covey encourages us to focus on where we can make a difference, our circle of control and our circle of influence. Not those things that concern us but are beyond our sphere of influence.
As an example: When Becky and I moved to Salt Lake City in 1995, we moved into a brand-new community of approximately 25 new homes built by three different builders. Each of those builders were asked to nominate one of their homeowners to serve on the HOA Board of Directors. (For some reason, our builder recommended me to serve on that board as the first Chairperson.)
Knowing Home Owner Associations can easily “go south” with highly charged emotions over conflicting decisions or policies, our first action as a board was to organize a bi-annual community picnic beginning before our first business meeting.
Our goal was to initiate relationships and create a sense of community from the very start. That was one of the best actions we could have taken.
Almost immediately, friendships were initiated, childcare groups were formed, and people were friendly with each other from the git-go. We launched a community before the inevitable problems began to form.
When we invest our time and energy building relationships, showing kindness, and strengthening our local communities; we are able expand those circles and multiply our impact. And, as an incredible side benefit, our levels of stress, and perhaps even our feelings of depression tend to go down.
Building on Stephen Covey’s work, below is my visual take on similar concepts:
“In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.” – Marianne Williamson
Brainstorming, here are a few ideas to consider when focusing on actions you might take to expand your circles of control and influence:
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Show up locally. Attend a school board meeting, city council session, or community forum—not to argue, but to listen, learn, and perhaps influence.
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Build bridges. Invite a neighbor, coworker, or acquaintance with different perspectives to share coffee or a meal. Listen first. Be curious and ready to learn.
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Support local. Volunteer at a food pantry, mentor a student, or shop at small businesses that keep your community vibrant.
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Practice gratitude publicly. Thank teachers, health workers, or first responders who serve your community every day. When possible, leave messages or notes of gratitude.
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Be visible in kindness. Small gestures— share “care packages” with neighbors, help carry groceries, pick up litter, share meals, visit a nursing home, plan a BBQ for people in your neighborhood, or simply greeting others warmly—send powerful signals of respect.
What ideas would you offer?
Bonus Quotes Below
Related Articles:
Reflection Question:
What’s one small step you could take this week to make your corner of the world just a little stronger, kinder, and/or more connected?
As always, how will you live, love, or lead differently or better this week?
Please note I will be taking the next couple of weeks off. I’ll see you here again October.
Sincerely,
Bryan Yager
“Expanding Your Capacity for Success”
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Bonus Quotes:
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“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.” – Helen Keller
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“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” – Herman Melville
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“The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.” – Coretta Scott King
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“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu
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“No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank
