First a quote: “Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people” – Peter Strople
Good morning and happy Monday!
At the risk of oversharing, I’m writing this week’s MMM edition with a heavy heart. My dad passed way last Thursday. Not only was he my dad, but he was a best friend, encourager, teacher, and perhaps most importantly, my role model. He is largely responsible for teaching me how to be a man, husband, father, friend, neighbor, and hopefully, an all-around good person. He was 93.
I know I will shed many more tears in the days, months, and perhaps occasionally, the years ahead; that is a normal and natural part of the human grieving process. Please know, for the most part, I’m in a good place emotionally, because I know he is in a better place, he was at peace when his time came, and he was surrounded by love both near and far.
Dad’s prayer was to die in his own home with his work boots on. (Half of that prayer was answered, although I will also tell you he was in his yard, tending to his flowers and pulling weeds the day prior.)
One of my two brothers and I were at his side holding both hands. Our four siblings were all able to say their good-byes via phone or Zoom. I fully recognize not everyone is afforded that opportunity. He was in his recliner, in his own home, comfortable, and at peace for his final few hours. We should all be so fortunate when the time comes.
It is during this time of mourning that has allowed my siblings and me to take a break from life for reflection and introspection; to think about what really matters in life, at least for us. As we drafted our father’s obituary today, we have been provided a wonderful opportunity to reflect upon our father’s life and his legacy.
Which brings me to a question for your consideration, reflection, and possible introspection:
“What will your legacy be?”
I would suggest this isn’t a question to be answered in the future, this is a “now question.” This is a question that could/should be considered every day, including today.
Let’s project into the future for a moment and pretend it is your 90th birthday. Let’s assume you have lived your life in such a way that friends and family will have a desire to honor you and celebrate your 90th birthday. What would you like those people to say about you at your 90th birthday party? (Think: children, spouse, friends, co-workers and neighbors.)
In his book, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People , Stephen Covey titled one of his suggested habits “Beginning with the end in mind.” I’m asking you today to consider, “What you would like people to say about you at some point in the future, at your retirement for example, or maybe even your 90th birthday party?”
How will your children describe you in the future? Your spouse? Friends? Neighbors? Coworkers? Strangers?
If you can answer that question today, then you will also know what your behavioral priorities should be today. Whether you are aware of it or not, you’re building your legacy every day; intentionally or unintentionally, positively or negatively. I ask again, what will your legacy be someday? The answer to that question matters today.
“Please think about your legacy
because you are writing it every day.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk
I’m quite confident my dad never read the 7 Habits book, but he lived his life every day in just that manner. He lived his personal values every day; work hard, love God, treat people well, be kind always, never be wasteful, and serve others. In my mind, that is his legacy… which he started creating almost every day many years ago.
One of my many mentors, Vincent Kituku, wrote a book about creating a “dash that matters.” On the surface, the metaphor may seem a bit morbid, but I found the concept to be quite inspiring. Let me explain:
Four years ago, we placed a headstone on our parent’s gravesite when our mom passed. Yesterday, I called to have that monument updated with my dad’s recent date of death. Soon, the following new information will be added to their grave marker:
Joseph Earle Yager; April 3, 1928 – August 5, 2021.
Please look closely at the dates above. Note the dash which is surrounded on both sides by his date of birth and his date of death. Our dad’s entire life, 93 years’ worth, will be represented by a simple “dash” on his headstone. Same for almost everyone else who has a grave site stone.
“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” — Shannon Adler
I don’t know about you, but I want my dash to matter. I know what I want people to say about me at my 90th birthday party. Do you?
It’s Monday, the first day of a brand-new week. How will you more intentionally contribute to your legacy starting today?
I will likely shed more tears in the days and weeks ahead, and I promise you, they will be tears of both sadness and joy. My siblings and I were raised by a good man and a good father. His legacy has been carved on the hearts of many.
Thank you for your prayers, light, love, positive thoughts, and concerns. Please know they mean more to me than you will know. Each of you mean more to me than you will know. I appreciate you.
How will you love, live, or lead, differently, or better, this week?
Bonus quotes below.
With love, sincerely,
Bryan Yager
208.376.1701
“Expanding Your Capacity for Success”
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Click here to read: “Please Stop, I Wanna Get Off” - Bryan Yager
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Bonus Quotes:
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“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett
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“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” — William James
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“Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends. It’s the longest-lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs.” — Steve Saint
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“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.” — Billy Graham
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“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” – Pericles
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“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” – William James
